Chap.17-19 Handmaid's Tale Journal

"I want to be valued, in ways that I am not; I want to be more than valuable"

Actual values are the type of values one would see in a field of study such as economics. An employer would value his employees for their capital and sees value in them only for the sole purpose of his business. These aren't exactly invaluable values because if one employee leaves, the employer can just find another one to replace his value. These values are valuable but not invaluable so that they cannot be replaced by anything else. 

There are certain values in this world that transcend actual values and I like to call these invaluable values. These type of values are found beyond the professional world. You can find some of these values in things like relationships. When someone dates a person, they aare valuing them for something that they cannot easily replace. It could be that they care for them in a certain way or that they give really good kisses. These values are invaluable and can't exactly be given a value. Yet at the same time, they are values. These are harder to find than valuable values and they are even rarer to find in a professional, serious environment. 

In the dystopian world of The Handmaid's Tale, these invaluable values have become eradicated. They are seen as an evil to this world where women are basically walking reproductive factories. This makes the women no longer invaluable for their relationships as they are seen only for their sex.

This is why Offred is trying to find something she can't exactly describe. However, she know it exists and that is why she craves it. She is seeking an invaluable value.

When The Line Begins To Blur

What does it take for the line between right and wrong to begin to blur and what is the true nature of human nature? Both very important questions, these were questions I asked myself during the discussion in class. Some of the answers that I found showed me a part of human nature that I thought could never be unleashed. 

One thing I observed as we were divided into serpents and angels is that the majority of class belonged to the serpentine side. Does this mean that we are a species that tells stone cold lies all of the time? I would say no because I think it just shows that there are situations for everyone in which they would be forced to lie about something for a better good.

The least extreme example of our serpentine side is Santa Claus. We find it good to give our children something to look up to that is magical and will instill that spirit of childhood in them during that age. The same goes with most euphemisms that we tell our children when they inquire about the serious and darker side of life. But we do not tell them these euphemisms because that's what we want them to believe for the rest of their lives. We do it because we believe that when they are ready to, they will learn about the darker, more serious stuff that we kept hidden from them.

This leads me to one conclusion about the true nature of human nature: Being deceitful is not something that would be hard for any human being to do. From white lies to massive lies, every human being is capable of doing one or the other.

A more complex side of human nature is the lion and lamb side. Every human being varies when it comes to how much they think their violence could extend. Violence is worse than lying for some people, and other people would think that they are both equal. It is hard for me to conceive a thought about killing another human being. However, there is breaking point for everyone. When the line of insanity or desperation is crossed, everybody is capable of doing the things they wouldn't dare to do if they hadn't crossed the line.

The 1972 Andes flight survivors no doubt thought that McDonald's was gourmet when
they came back to society.

An example of how there is a lion within all of us when the situation calls for it is the 1972 Andes flight disaster. There was nothing left for the survivors of the crash to eat except for the preserved bodies of others who died in the crash. They were forced to turn to cannibalizing so that they could survive until rescue arrived. I am sure that before the crash happened, some of them would have thought that cannibalism is something that they would never do even if they were forced to. But the breaking point was broken when they came to a grim realization that they would die unless they crossed the line. In such a desperate situation as this, the line between right and wrong had to become blurred in order for these people to survive.

My final conclusion: There is a lion and a serpent in all of us. Certain situations can force these darker sides of personality to rise. How we would act in normal society is a far cry from how we would act in a desperate, seemingly hopeless society ( Like "The Road"?). 

The Sonnet Post_1.01

Her eyes as blue as ocean water's luster
Caught effortlessly my heart's love
She and I don't share the same cluster
And I am forlorn that I'm a grade above

While it strains my schedule and my grades
I risk it all just to receive embrace
Hoping the moment will never fade
It is a truth I must finally face

There is no other one I'd rather see
She's a treasured jewel that I have found
As I move away towards the sea
My torch for her shall burn proud

Even if life may try to tear us apart
There shall be love ever building in my heart

Tempest Act I Reflection

Power and authority, while they may seem to go hand in hand, do not go together as one would think they would. Continuing all through Act I of The Tempest, the definition of power and authority becomes more defined. The line becomes more clearly defined as we learn that anyone can get power.

Master of puppets and pulling the strings! Notice the doomy hands looming over the land in the sky.

Power - The possession of control or command over others.
Authority - The right to control, command, or determine. 

I think that of all the characters in The Tempest, Prospero undeniably has the most power. His authority, however, is almost nonexistent to most except perhaps Caliban. He has become deposed of his authority by Antonio, but Antonio doesn't exactly have the most power in the play. Antonio may still inhabit Prospero's old throne and he may command an entire kingdom, but he does not have the powers of control others indefinitely. He can command someone to do something, but he is not in full control of their actions, no matter how much he tries to do so. Prospero, however, has found the power to fully control one's actions through his wizadry but he does not necessarily have the right to do so. This leads me to question: Are power and authority the same thing?
 
If power can be obtained by any one, no matter what right they have to use it, and authority can be obtained by a select few, I think that power and authority are different things. Propsero does not need to be the duke of Milan in order to possess the skills he has in wizadry. He could have gone to one of the lowest of the hierarchial pyramid of social class and still have obtained the powers he has. Antonio had to fight his way to the top of the hierarchial pyramid in order to obtain the power he has, but his powers are limited to what he can do by himself. He may maintain authority over every one else in the land, but his powers are limited to what he possesses in his arsenal. If he does not have any powers beyond his legal powers, then he is powerless against someone as powerful as Prospero. Therefore, what does it mean to have authority?

Having authority means that you are allowed to use your power in politcal terms. For example, even if a terrorist such as Kony has a powerful army that he can use to make others do what he wants, he still does not have a politically given power to do so. Does he need the authority to do so? Not at all, as he can still possess whatever he pleases with his menacing and sinister army. If he did have authority by being a president of a country, he wouldn't need to do most of his actions by force as much because people would recognize that he has a politically given right to command others. However, people can still protest and disobey his commands, so, authority does not exactly come with an equal amount of power.

So, what is the role of power in the first act of The Tempest? Propsero uses his power for his own benefits. He is a selfish person and he plans a grand scheme in order to benefit himself. He couldn't do most of his scheme without a great amount of power, though. So, he uses his warlock powers to force his plan to work. He has so much power that he could even control Antonio and regain his powers in an instant. However, he uses his powers with a considerable amount of reserve and saves it for when he thinks that he needs it. Without the powers that he has, he would be unable to make his scheme go exactly according to plan and his plot would most likely fail, as would the rest of the story's plot. This suggests that Prospero is indeed a control freak.

In conlcusion, I think that power is greater than authority. Antonio could be the king of the world but still not be the king of power, as Propsero is. 

Reflection_1.3: Reflection On Chap.24 - End

I think that the ending of the book makes us wonder if Frankenstein was ever truly redeemed. After committing great acts of hubris, he was punished severely and sought redemption in order to be saved from his punishments. Hmm... that sounds a lot like- (see picture)

THE RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER!

Okay, so let's look at Frankenstein from a "Rime of The Ancient Mariner" perspective. The creation of the monster resembles the sailor shooting the albatross. Frankenstein committed this act of hubris more knowingly, and thus, it was destined to have grave consequences. The monster eventually began punishing Frankenstein for his actions and Victor ultimately was left alone without any family or friends. Here is where "Frankenstein" and "Rime of The Ancient Mariner" split paths. The mariner eventually is redeemed for his actions as he is brought to his knees begging for it to end and shows true remorse for his past actions. However, in "Frankenstein", Victor is never truly redeemed, at least in my opinion. He never really shows remorse for some of his actions like embarking on a quest for scientific knowledge in the name of self-glory. Even as he is about to lie on his own deathbed in Walton's ship, he still exhibits some of the qualities that led him into the mess that he got into to begin with.

What is it that separates Victor's fate from the mariner's fate? Tragedy! The ancient mariner's ordeal is very tragic as he watches his own crew die before his own eyes, in a manner that put the blame on him. However, the tragedy ends as soon as the gods help him out and he is able to live life with his family (We assume). However, Victor's tragedy is persistent until the day he finally dies. Because of this, I think it is safe to say that "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" is not a tragedy because the main character eventually finds redemption. "Frankenstein" is a tragedy because Victor dies unredeemed with the loss of all of his family and friends.

I think the main reason why Victor wasn't redeemed was because his thoughts betrayed his actions. He told a great tale about how science should not be pursued with motivations induced by hubris, yet he said to Walton later that "Hey man, if you're going to do this quest for glory and honor, I think it's worth it." This emphasizes the fact that Victor hasn't changed much at all and that he doesn't truly deserve redemption. Redemption comes to those who deserve it because they have shown a change of heart. At the end of the book, we still see that Victor hasn't really changed his heart 100%. Therefore, he is left unredeemed as he dies at the end of the book. He never truly dropped the albatross into the redeeming sea.

College Admission Essay

            A basketball covered with teen sweat lands into my hands. It is the last minute of the middle-school basketball championship game and I am the kid that has the opportunity for the last shot of this game. I quickly assess my situation and see my options: play it safe and pass the ball to another teammate or take a risk to make a basket.

            I have not made a single basket in any of my games because I was never an athletic person and I don't like sports as much as my peers do. When I started playing basketball at the beginning of the season, I could barely dribble and the rules of the game were brand new. My parents didn't play or watch sports at all and I had nobody to teach me how to practice but myself. Even my body was not athletic by any sport's standards and my arms were fit more for playing piano than they were for dribbling the ball.

            The odds were against me but I did not let that stop me. I told myself that with enough practice and sheer will I could accomplish more than I ever thought possible at the beginning of the championship. So every night afterschool I practiced my shots in my neighbor's yard.

            Now, at the championship game, I finally have my chance. I focus on the basketball hoop and throw the ball towards it with every bit of strength in me. Then, as the ball is in midflight, the referee blows his whistle and shouts "Travel!" I take my eyes off the ball to look at him and incredulously exclaim, "What?"

            As I complain to the referee, I hear a tremendous sound of applause and cheers coming from the bleachers. I look over there to see my family, friends, and people who knew that I couldn't play well dancing up and down with joy. Some are hugging each other and some are twirling their shirts in the air round and round. At that moment I realize that the ball went through the basket. It was my first basket in the whole season and it doesn't matter that the referee didn't count it. What matters is that the boy who never made a basket showed that with determination he could conquer anything in life.  

            I have determination in everything I do in my life. In my music, there were also things that I had to overcome. For example, I was classically trained on piano since I was five, and knew nothing about playing guitar or drums. But I set out to learn them on my own, and today, I can play both with great skill. In college, I am confident that my determination will stay with me as I embark on a quest for knowledge and improvement.

Reflection_1.1: Reflection on Chap.21-23 + Anagnorisis & Catastrophe

Thinking in retrospect, this painting makes a lot more sense, having read the chapter more thoroughly. Now I finally know what that horse means! However, the goblin and the woman are much more closely related to Frankenstein than the horse.
 

Wow. I would have never guessed that this poem was likely a projection of the painter's unrequited sexual feelings towards a woman that he liked.

 Catastrophe and anagnorisis plague these chapter as Elizabeth and Henry have their lives taken away by the monster. When Victor discovers that the monster has robbed Henry of his life, he becomes overwhelmed by the emotions of grief and despair. These feelings quickly transform into hate as soon as he realizes that the monster did this only to make him feel his suffering. This shows us that the monster most likely did this in order to bring Victor down to his level. The monster felt like he was a creation born to be aborted and shunned. Living like a pariah, he could never achieve the same happiness that Victor appeared to experience. To the monster, Henry seemed to infuse Victor with hope and happiness. So, the monster thought that if he brought Victor to face the same despair that he was living in, then he would begin to truly know what he was feeling. However, this is still not enough for the monster. He wants to bring something worse than this catastrophe to Victor.

With a looming threat from the monster that he will visit Victor on wedding night, Victor is extremely nervous. The monster's threat suggests that the monster wanted Victor to feel like this so that he could torture his emotions. It's simply more pleasure for the monster as he watches all of the events unfold. Part of our desires when we are experiencing grief is that we wish that someone else could feel what we're going through. Some people can be so sadistic and cruel that they will go so far as to bring harm to them in order to make them feel their suffering first-hand. The monster shows us that he is one of these sadistic and cruel beings by treatening Victor (and ultimately carrying out the threat).

Upon wedding night, Victor is with his wife in their honeymoon cabin. Victor is so consumed with dread and fear that he asks Elizabeth to leave the cabin for a little bit so that he can face the monster alone. Then a moment of great anagnorisis occurs and Victor realizes that it was his wife that the monster was going to confront. He realizes that the monster didn't want to kill him because (in the words of Bane) his punishment must be more severe. Thus, Victor is completely stunned and shocked at the horror that he witnesses when he sees his wife dead. Mary Shelley slyly referenced Fuseli's Nightmare when she was describing how Elizabeth laid on the bed. "She was there, lifeless and inanimate, thrown across the bed, her head hanging down, and her pale and distorted features half covered by her hair." (Chap.23) Another inference about the painting's relationship to Frankenstein is that the goblin resembles the monster in that it carries an expression on its face that seems to tell me that it killed the woman and subsequently felt no remorse. Upon discovering the death of his only beloved, Victor is overtaken by emotions of grief, despair, and anger. Even yet, his tragedy goes even further as his father dies of shock when he hears of this grave news. Victor's pain is so severe because he is unable to tell anyone, so he finally decides to reveal to the world of the monster's existence. Adding to his angst, nobody believes him and they scoff at him. This is the salt in the wound. It truly makes us sorry that nobody will believe in the monster's existence besides Victor, the monster, and the readers. When someone denies the existence of your own problems, it brings you an emotion that is reserved for those in the most extreme anguish. What could be more agonizing than the fact that no one will believe in you, and therefore cannot even sympathize with you?